Activision

Kingpin;162666
FIFA is the international football association, presumably a joke at the disallowed English goal during the match against Germany.

heslimedme25;162670
Yup, you're spot on. Heard it on the radio on Monday…gave me a chuckle. I guess it's pretty vague unless you caught the footy.

I missed that game.

JamesCGamora;162673
Activision

That gave me a chuckle…people are staring at me now!

EDIT: Last one about the world cup. Honest.

The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. “It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

heslimedme25;162715
The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. “It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

Now that was funny.

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
The boy replies, “Now we run!”

How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan.

Bwahahahaha. 0_o

whats an english guy does when his team won the world-mastership?
he turns off his playstation!

jogi82;164816
whats an english guy does when his team won the world-mastership?
he turns off his playstation!

You really don't want to be going there…

Okay a while ago I posted ways to piss off a police officer. Well don't because this is what he or she can say back to you if you piss them off with those lines.

“You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on this ticket, huh?”
“Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.”
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a dog or cat?”
“Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?”
“In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”
“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.”
“If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.”
“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.“
”Now exactly how big were those ‘Just two beers’ you had?“
”No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.“
”I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Paulk is a personal friend of yours. You know someone who can post your bail.“
”You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

There's a town with a squirrl problem. The hardware store trys trapping the squirrls and taking them outside town. But that doesn't work cause they come right back. The civic center trys killing the squirrls. But that doesn't seem to work cause there's just too many. So the Baptist church was the one that solved the problem. They baptised the squirrls, made them members, and now they only show up on Christmas and Easter.